Day one
*sniff* What's that smell? Oh, it's fresh paint on me. In..teresting. I'm shiny, beautiful, clean, but there's this irritating corny design of green and white things painted on me. Dunno what that is, but the Cadbury ride says that I'm the Milo ride. Milo? What kind of name is that?
Day two
People are getting on all the other rides but I remain roped off from the public. Whywhywhy? I'm so darn bored.
Day three
The maintanence guy told me I'd be open tomorrow. He says it's very important and the president (whatever that is) will come to my opening ceremony. Ha! I always knew I was better than those crummy pink bumper cars.
Day four
It's been a really great day! There was so many people and balloons and ribbons. They were all cheering for me! If only I had enough hands I'd give them all autographs. Unfortunately, I don't have any.
Day five
First day of service. Feels real great to be running along on those metal tracks. However the loops make me nauseous. They sure make the riders nauseous too. A boy threw up in my fifteenth compartment... occupational hazard.
Day six
Some asshole had a thick felt-tip marker and scribbled on me. I wouldn't mind if he cancled out the corny design, but he drew a speech bubble for the people and now they appear to be very learned in vulgarities. Also, the foreman ignored me when I told him popcorn should be outlawed, which resulted in a nest of ants in my third compartment. I didn't know ants breed so fast.
Day seven
Rainy day. Drenched people still rode me even though I tried my best to persuade them not to; they said being wet makes it colder and that makes it funner. Is funner even a word? I nearly suffer a heart attack everytime I'm at the very top of the slide downwards because the tracks are so wet.
Day eight, nine, ten
Same same. Things are starting to get boring. I can't believe my paint is starting to flake. Must be cheap stuff.
Day eleven
Yes, the maintanence guy said the paint was cheap stuff. Five cents per litre.
Day fourteen
It's been two weeks and it seems like two decades. Everything is the same everyday. However today I had a can of coke poured down my neck and man is it sticky! I hope I won't rust.
Day fifteen
I won't rust because those ants are very happy.
One month
Oh, a new fat guy with orange bushy hair and red circular cheeks and huge red shoes and an eternally smiling face has come to this world and seems intent on making people part with their money, even resorting to low down methods like folding some colorful rubbery stuff and demanding money in exchange for those ridiculously simple designs.
One month and a week
I think that fat guy is here to stay. The ants like him. I'm getting dirtier. Nobody bothers to wash me.
*Time passes*
One year
It's my birthday. Happy, happy birthday, lonely, lonely bithday...
One year and a day
Nice belated birthday surprise. The rides around me (crummy pink bumper cars included) sang me a birthday song. They didn't sing their birthday songs even once in that whole year and I found that it was because theirs is on 29 Febuary.
Two years
I bored. Command of english dropping. Too long no blog.
Three years.
Horrible life. Why was i borned?
Three point five years
I want my mummy. She's in heaven.
Three point seven five years
Horrible.
Four years
Terrible.
Four point five years
Vegetable.
Five years
I wanna die.
Six years
Me gonna be scrapped i think. So old.
Seven years
Yay. Scrapped in three more years.
Seven years and one day
Kill me.
Seven point five years
.
Eight years
I'm going to commit suicide tomorrow. Had enough of people.
Eight years and one day
Some guy dropped a key into my gears. yay. i'm on my way... lalala...
Eight years and two days
Happened too soon!! One compartment fell off.. before that, the maintainence guy managed to save a girl from being crushed by it by pushing her out of the way, but he got crushexd. Feel so guilty. Am SORRY!!! SORRY!!! Don't strike me with lightning please!!!
Eight years and three days
Boss decided to save money by scrapping me. Bye, world. P.s. I'M SORRY!!!
Eight years and four days
It's my last day. The scrapper guy found the wireless bluetooth thingy that I picked off a guy that I use to blog. I'm typing as fast as I can now cos' this is the last few seconds of my life and i'll really miss you guys and i bb
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
The Lonely Banana
Aagh. Why does it seem that almost all my inspiration comes from food? Yes they're cute... but bananas and popcorn? I wanted to write one about a watermelon going steady with a starfruit.
Once upon a time, there lived a bunch of bananas in the bananahouse. The banana bunch was made up of five members: grandpa banana, mama banana, papa banana, rotten banana and runty banana. Grandma banana had been eaten by a hungry dog.
At the same time, there lived the Noodle family in the noodlehouse. They were Dongfen, Guotiao, Meepok, Miantiao and Meetaibak. Dongfen and Guotiao had broken tradition and married because they fell in love. (Actually, this does nothing much to the story and so you can forget about it.) They decided to name their off-noodles (you know offspring?) with names beginning with 'M' to carry on the legacy of the (in)famous 4MuahChee'04 of RVHS.
There was also the Nut family and they lived in the nuthouse. There was a Cashewnut, a Macadiamanut, Roastednut, and Nuttynut. Groundnut not counted.
Groundnut had been disowned after he baceme so very obsessed with Voldemort of Harry Potter fame, and had done things to make himself as awful as Voldemort did. He invented the peanut crusher and peanut butter, for one. And not only did he make things difficult for all the nuts in the world, Groundnut called leigions of weirdos to be loyal to him and be his armies. Those monsters were called Housewives. The Housewives somehow could foodnap any and every kind of food they want to, and torture the food to death by slicing and dicing them up, finally eating them or cooking them.
One day, the Housewives blew down the wall of the bananahouse and grabbed the bunch of bananas. They ignored the pathetic screams and cries of the bananas and brought them to the market to be sold to other less proficient housewives. However as runty banana was, as his name suggests, very small, he was overlooked and left in his room, unhurt and as dumb as before. From then on, grandpa banana, mama banana, papa banana and rotten banana were MIA, and runty banana was known as The Banana Who Lived. Regrettably, bananas were not very creative.
The next day, Hurricane Wantonmee struck. Guotiao, Meepok and Miantiao were blown away and it was believed they landed in hot soup. Meetaibak was young and energetic and brave enough to stand up to Hurricane Wantonmee, and he told the Hurricane that basically, Meetaibak is not used as an ingredient in wanton mee, period. On the other hand, old and amnesic Dongfen forgot himself and started line dancing, straining his heart and he died of a heart attack.
Once upon a time, there lived a bunch of bananas in the bananahouse. The banana bunch was made up of five members: grandpa banana, mama banana, papa banana, rotten banana and runty banana. Grandma banana had been eaten by a hungry dog.
At the same time, there lived the Noodle family in the noodlehouse. They were Dongfen, Guotiao, Meepok, Miantiao and Meetaibak. Dongfen and Guotiao had broken tradition and married because they fell in love. (Actually, this does nothing much to the story and so you can forget about it.) They decided to name their off-noodles (you know offspring?) with names beginning with 'M' to carry on the legacy of the (in)famous 4MuahChee'04 of RVHS.
There was also the Nut family and they lived in the nuthouse. There was a Cashewnut, a Macadiamanut, Roastednut, and Nuttynut. Groundnut not counted.
Groundnut had been disowned after he baceme so very obsessed with Voldemort of Harry Potter fame, and had done things to make himself as awful as Voldemort did. He invented the peanut crusher and peanut butter, for one. And not only did he make things difficult for all the nuts in the world, Groundnut called leigions of weirdos to be loyal to him and be his armies. Those monsters were called Housewives. The Housewives somehow could foodnap any and every kind of food they want to, and torture the food to death by slicing and dicing them up, finally eating them or cooking them.
One day, the Housewives blew down the wall of the bananahouse and grabbed the bunch of bananas. They ignored the pathetic screams and cries of the bananas and brought them to the market to be sold to other less proficient housewives. However as runty banana was, as his name suggests, very small, he was overlooked and left in his room, unhurt and as dumb as before. From then on, grandpa banana, mama banana, papa banana and rotten banana were MIA, and runty banana was known as The Banana Who Lived. Regrettably, bananas were not very creative.
The next day, Hurricane Wantonmee struck. Guotiao, Meepok and Miantiao were blown away and it was believed they landed in hot soup. Meetaibak was young and energetic and brave enough to stand up to Hurricane Wantonmee, and he told the Hurricane that basically, Meetaibak is not used as an ingredient in wanton mee, period. On the other hand, old and amnesic Dongfen forgot himself and started line dancing, straining his heart and he died of a heart attack.