It was swimming one moment, and still the next. I always would think it died after long long periods of inactivity and getting buffetted about by the bubbles in my tank, but it will always start moving as suddenly as though a switch was flicked.
Flika was my dad's prawn. He didn't exactly said it was his, but since he was the one who cared the most for it, it just seemed fit to say that Flika belonged to him. In fact, I wonder if Flika knows who he belongs to. Or maybe Flika would resent belonging to somebody - I knew I would. So, in all sense, I shouldn't say Flika belongs to dad.
Today morning, Flika died. Apparently he was really really dead, for he didn't start swimming after 2 hours of my staring at him, nor did he struggle when I put my hands into the tank and lifted him out. I brought Flika to my mother in the kitchen and told her Flika's weight, length (5 inches) and color (pinkish-red). Then my mother threw Flika into the pot.
Dad came home, had dinner, and told mum, "Nice prawn!"
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Abstract Nightmares
Part I.
There was something different in the air, a kind of surly tension that hit me the moment I stepped out of the kitchen. My dad was staring hard at me from behind the paper. He thought I did not notice but I did. My mother stood at her bedroom door and watched me. I walked to my room. The first thing I noticed was many grey wires bunched behind the door. I cound not see clearly where they connected to. Then I realised that there was a weak glow on the wall, looking like those projected from an overhead projector in school. And indeed there was a small overhead projector directing the beam of light onto the wall. That was strange. Did my parents intend to convert my room into a classroom? What do they want to teach me?
I saw the videocam mounted at the top right corner of my room, pointing in the general direction of my desk and bed. In fact, it was pointed in such a way that everything I do in the room can be seen. I felt very uneasy. In fact, I felt sick. I'm being watched!
Apparently, the light is so that it would be bright enough for the videocam to record accurately what goes on in my room at night when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
-time rift-
I got no explaination from anybody about what was going on. And I overheard my mother talking to my sister about the windows. It seems that something has been done to the windowledge, which explains the workmen around yesterday when I was locked in my room. She said that the little ledge at the bottom of the little sloping cement thing outside the kitchen window has been removed. If anybody falls out of the window accidentally, there would be nothing to hold on to. I get the feeling that she wants me to die, the earlier the better.
-time rift-
I am caged. I cannot leave the house alone. I cannot go anywhere except the living room, kitchen and my room. I dash around the house, looking in vain for some way to escape this prison. There's no privacy. My every move is being monitored; there's somebody stopping me from doing what I want everytime. How can they do this to their own daughter? I'm going mad. Might as well commit suicide.
Part II.
Sleeping on a mattress next to the carpark downstairs. I was awoken by a civil defence fire engine with its siren wailing which tore by me. Firemen jumped out, and started chasing a guy who ran out from the void deck opposite me. He was wielding a gun or some sort of weapon, and started running. The carpark was oval shaped, and he ran along the oval diameter, passing directly next to my mattress. Still lying there, I stuck out my leg and tripped him. The funny thing was, he fell only after another 10 meters. I felt idiotically happy, and thought tripping people was fun. So I started tripping up the firemen who were running behind him. In the end, the firemen caught the guy and handcuffed him. Then, (surprise!) they rolled open a banner that had something to do with celebrating Singapore's civil defence day together with national day. So I inferred that it was a fake chase thing. Cheat my feelings.
Part III. (continuation of part I.)
Feeling wretched, the last and only thing I remembered was "I" crawling out of the kitchen window and keeling on the tiny sloping cement ledge looking 12 floors down.
-------------------------------------
It was a very weird night of dreams. These points give more details to those hilighted in orange.
-My dreams were in parts. I woke after every part and was concious enough to check the time. Then I'd fall back asleep, like something was pulling me to sleep. And I'd fall into the next part.
-Time rifts just happen, and after a time rift, I'd suddenly know something else. The setting would change, and there would be a feeling of time passed but I don't remember anything that happened during that supposed "fast forward" period.
-When I thought that in the dream, a more concious part of my mind was shocked that I'd think of such a thing.
-It seemed I was broke and had no other place to sleep.
-Weird that the firemen ran around in a circle too.. so dumb, they could just cut across the carpark. And weird that they were firemen.
After I woke from part III, I was so sick and nearly threw up. Sure don't want to repeat that again..
There was something different in the air, a kind of surly tension that hit me the moment I stepped out of the kitchen. My dad was staring hard at me from behind the paper. He thought I did not notice but I did. My mother stood at her bedroom door and watched me. I walked to my room. The first thing I noticed was many grey wires bunched behind the door. I cound not see clearly where they connected to. Then I realised that there was a weak glow on the wall, looking like those projected from an overhead projector in school. And indeed there was a small overhead projector directing the beam of light onto the wall. That was strange. Did my parents intend to convert my room into a classroom? What do they want to teach me?
I saw the videocam mounted at the top right corner of my room, pointing in the general direction of my desk and bed. In fact, it was pointed in such a way that everything I do in the room can be seen. I felt very uneasy. In fact, I felt sick. I'm being watched!
Apparently, the light is so that it would be bright enough for the videocam to record accurately what goes on in my room at night when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
-time rift-
I got no explaination from anybody about what was going on. And I overheard my mother talking to my sister about the windows. It seems that something has been done to the windowledge, which explains the workmen around yesterday when I was locked in my room. She said that the little ledge at the bottom of the little sloping cement thing outside the kitchen window has been removed. If anybody falls out of the window accidentally, there would be nothing to hold on to. I get the feeling that she wants me to die, the earlier the better.
-time rift-
I am caged. I cannot leave the house alone. I cannot go anywhere except the living room, kitchen and my room. I dash around the house, looking in vain for some way to escape this prison. There's no privacy. My every move is being monitored; there's somebody stopping me from doing what I want everytime. How can they do this to their own daughter? I'm going mad. Might as well commit suicide.
Part II.
Sleeping on a mattress next to the carpark downstairs. I was awoken by a civil defence fire engine with its siren wailing which tore by me. Firemen jumped out, and started chasing a guy who ran out from the void deck opposite me. He was wielding a gun or some sort of weapon, and started running. The carpark was oval shaped, and he ran along the oval diameter, passing directly next to my mattress. Still lying there, I stuck out my leg and tripped him. The funny thing was, he fell only after another 10 meters. I felt idiotically happy, and thought tripping people was fun. So I started tripping up the firemen who were running behind him. In the end, the firemen caught the guy and handcuffed him. Then, (surprise!) they rolled open a banner that had something to do with celebrating Singapore's civil defence day together with national day. So I inferred that it was a fake chase thing. Cheat my feelings.
Part III. (continuation of part I.)
Feeling wretched, the last and only thing I remembered was "I" crawling out of the kitchen window and keeling on the tiny sloping cement ledge looking 12 floors down.
-------------------------------------
It was a very weird night of dreams. These points give more details to those hilighted in orange.
-My dreams were in parts. I woke after every part and was concious enough to check the time. Then I'd fall back asleep, like something was pulling me to sleep. And I'd fall into the next part.
-Time rifts just happen, and after a time rift, I'd suddenly know something else. The setting would change, and there would be a feeling of time passed but I don't remember anything that happened during that supposed "fast forward" period.
-When I thought that in the dream, a more concious part of my mind was shocked that I'd think of such a thing.
-It seemed I was broke and had no other place to sleep.
-Weird that the firemen ran around in a circle too.. so dumb, they could just cut across the carpark. And weird that they were firemen.
After I woke from part III, I was so sick and nearly threw up. Sure don't want to repeat that again..